I am a lousy blogger but who gives a shit? I'm on the cover of Elle, bitches!

Holy shit Batman, 10 days have passed since my last post was published! 

When it comes to blogging, not posting for anything longer than a couple of days is akin to not acting in Hollywood for 12 months - Every effing c forgets you and you have to get snapped, flashing your twat or running at paps with your umbrella in order for folk to remember who you are.

Ahhh, the Britney jokes will never get old!

There is a small problem for me however. That being the fact that there are no paps chasing me around and I'm still 9 weeks (give or take) off giving birth so no twat flashing yet either. Damn, looks like I'm going to have to publish a post instead and just hope to flood everyone's Google Reader with abit of inappropriateness!

There's been no particular reason for my absence, I must admit. A total blogging sin here but I've just been kind of bored with the whole jumping on the laptop idea. My whole blogging 'career' (Hey Mom, look! I am so a career woman!) has been littered with these sorts of silence-spells so I'm confident that it will blow over but right now, Twitter is boring, Facebook is meh and thinking about what I can blog about is fucking hard work and I usually find myself distracted by food or the urge to nap. Do not even get me started on being able to sit comfortably for long enough to be able to bash out a post! How the hell did I forget that it's damn near impossible to sit comfortably when you have a motherfucking watermelon shoved up your top? Lordy.

So, the point of this point? Hard to believe but there is a point. There's a few actually;

* Whoaaaaa, I'm still alive
* Yesssssss, I am still pregnant
and ...
* Soz but I still have nothing of substance to say!

Stay tuned for a proper El Preggo update over the week sometime but in the meantime, here is a sneak peak of the cover I just did for Elle Magazine;

WHAT DO MEAN JESSICA SIMPSON COPIED ME?

Fuck.