 |
| 39 weeks yo! |
I am still duffed.
39 weeks and 3 days today.
I won't lie, I don't want to be pregnant anymore but I refuse to unleash torrent upon torrent of complaints that are swirling around in my hormonal head right now. That shit isn't cool and every time I catch wind of myself carrying on, I want to stab myself in the eye!
As I have with my other pregnancies, I've been using a Babycenter birth board this time around. I love sharing my experiences of being pregnant with girls who are going through the same ... and perhaps more importantly, I don't hesitate in whining to them about the stupid when I know I've already reached my whinge-threshold with my Mum and MC for the day!
The only downside to these boards is when you are near the finish line and you are over it and you are desperate and EVERY OTHER BASTARD IN THE WORLD IS HAVING THEIR BABY BEFORE YOU! We're a pretty big group, I think there's about 90 of us at the moment - and despite it not even being July yet, we have around 13 or 14 babes already.
It's such a bizarre notion to be so excited for someone and yet so green with envy. I want to hug them and then kick them in the shin - Don't they know that I'm due before them? WAIT YOUR GODDAMN TURN! Can you imagine how I'm going to carry on if I go over 40 weeks? I might start sending out cards that say "Congratulations Mama! I am so thrilled for your new arrival! I hope you are resting up and soaking up that newborn goodness and see that IOU tucked up in the card here? THAT'S AN IOU ONE KICK IN THE VAGINA FOR NOT KEEPING YOUR LEGS CLOSED AND WAITING FOR MY WATERS TO POP BEFORE YOURS! BITCH."
The only downside to these boards is when you are near the finish line and you are over it and you are desperate and EVERY OTHER BASTARD IN THE WORLD IS HAVING THEIR BABY BEFORE YOU! We're a pretty big group, I think there's about 90 of us at the moment - and despite it not even being July yet, we have around 13 or 14 babes already.
It's such a bizarre notion to be so excited for someone and yet so green with envy. I want to hug them and then kick them in the shin - Don't they know that I'm due before them? WAIT YOUR GODDAMN TURN! Can you imagine how I'm going to carry on if I go over 40 weeks? I might start sending out cards that say "Congratulations Mama! I am so thrilled for your new arrival! I hope you are resting up and soaking up that newborn goodness and see that IOU tucked up in the card here? THAT'S AN IOU ONE KICK IN THE VAGINA FOR NOT KEEPING YOUR LEGS CLOSED AND WAITING FOR MY WATERS TO POP BEFORE YOURS! BITCH."
I think Amelia is getting a wee bit impatient too. Every day, she excitedly asks me if today if the day that I'll have her baby. And when I phone my Mum, she yells at me not to call her unless I'm having a baby. Good times, good times.
On Sunday night, there was some rumble in the jungle. A bloody show (Sorry if that TMI makes you squirm) amid an hour of 2-3 minute spaced contractions that lasted for 30-40 seconds a pop. Having spent the afternoon mopping and vacuuming like a woman possessed, I crawled into bed to see if maybe this was going to go somewhere. It didn't. The pains fizzled and my excitement gave way to heaven forbid, disappointment. Pretty sure my darling baby was giggling in utero to herself afterwards, thinking she was totally hilar. Whatever. At least that hour gave me a break from cooking dinner for a change!
The Braxtons have all but stopped since Sunday night too and since we're at full capacity, Madam doesn't have much room to move meaning I hardly feel her at all. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually pregnant or if I have actually been kicked in the vag bone and just need to fart really bad?
Oy vey.
So that's where we're at. Sooky, impatient and uncomfy. To appease my sooky self, I haven't been taking much note of emails I'm about to disable my FB wall to avoid the flurry of well meaning but motherfucking blood boiling, eye-twitch inducing "So, have you had baby yet?" posts and I'm whiling the days away reading, cooking and being the world's most boring Mum to two very understanding but bored kidlets.
The end is nigh y'all, the end is fucking nigh!
But I'm not going to leave on a depressing note like that, oh no. Here is the blanket I've made to bring Miss Golly home from the hospital in. It's my fave. to date and it's lovingly folded and waiting patiently in my hospital bag ...
But I'm not going to leave on a depressing note like that, oh no. Here is the blanket I've made to bring Miss Golly home from the hospital in. It's my fave. to date and it's lovingly folded and waiting patiently in my hospital bag ...
DO YOU HEAR THAT CHILD? COME ON ALREADY!
