There is no greater evolution than that of the uptight first time mum to cucumber cool third time mum. Fo' real.

Motherhood the third time around is a charm.

Dead set.

I won't say it's the easiest because well, that would be a lie but compared to first time motherhood, it's that. much. simpler. Dare I say even more enjoyable?

I think it's down to a combination of being comfortable and knowing that, you know, babies are pretty damn resilient. For example, you don't find yourself holding your breath while dressing your third newborn because you know that even though they look so delicate, they will not break!

Or maybe it's because I am just too busy to over analyse, over worry and over dramatise?

Hmmm.

In any case, the other night after tucking my big two up into bed and laying down to nurse Abi to sleep, I started to think about the differences between first time mum Holly and third time mum Holly.

*  *  *  *  * 

First time mum Holly: "No, sorry, you are sleeping in your cot. Don't you know that's where babies are supposed to sleep."
Third time mum Holly: Sleep anywhere you damn well please as long as you sleep!"


First time mum Holly: "Feed, play, sleep - That's what our health nurse says we should be doing."
Third time mum Holly:"Routine? Health nurse? Huh?"


First time mum Holly: All the pretty clothes. All the matching beanies, hats, socks. All painstakingly put-together outfits.
Third time mum Holly: Wondersuits.


First time mum Holly: "Oh my god, did you just eat dirt? YOU'LL NEED A TETANUS SHOT!"
Third time mum Holly: "Did you just eat dirt? Awesome. That's your lunch right there, baby!"


First time mum Holly: "Is that a bit of vom on your suit? Here, Mummy will change you."
Third time mum Holly: "Is that a bit of vom on your suit? Meh. It'll dry!"


First time mum Holly: "We will never eat McDonalds in this house. Ever."
Third time mum Holly: "If you STFU for ten minutes and pleaseeee stop wrapping the cat in toilet paper, I will buy you a Happy Meal for dinner."


First time mum Holly: "Can you be quiet please? It's nap time."
Third time mum Holly: Do you want to crack open the tequila and do Gangnam Style on the coffee table? It's nap time, bitches!"


First time mum Holly: "I am looking forward to the babes growing older. So many new and exciting things to explore - Playgroup, solids, story time at the library!"
Third time mum Holly: "I am looking forward to the babes growing older. They can make their own damn beds and we won't have to watch ABC fecking 2 anymore. HUZZAH!"


First time mum Holly: "TV will never be the babysitter in our household. That is like, so lazy."
Third time mum Holly: "Just sit here and watch Bubbleguppies. Mummy needs to wee and have a shower and maybe just have a cuppa in relative peace. Ok?"


First time mum Holly: Read all the baby books.
Third time mum Holly: Read a book? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

*  *  *  *  *

Simplicity is the method behind my mothering madness yo! And do you know what? I am so glad because first time mum Holly was borderline neurotic and she'd probably have given herself some kind of goddamn nervous, run down the street naked, screaming breakdown by now!

Are you a second, third, fourth time mum?
Have you noticed any evolutions to the way you mother?